Together too much fighting, leaving too much missing, arghhhh...

I feel bad, a few days ago I was shouting to him and talk too much bad things. I was so hurt because his words, now that angers already gone. He become careless with me after I shouted too much too him, now I understand he was acted like a foolish because he were love me.

I feel so bad, maybe I did hurt him too much. We decided to be only friend, it's good for me. Be friend is better but sometime I miss to talking about love with him. Now I shared a normal subject.

I was blind, he is a good boy, he was only a little bit play with me, maybe want make me jealous but I was too much emotional then it was made me angry, too much angry.

But what a good thing on him is, he was never left me when I was in angry, he accompanies me till I'm calm down. But a bad thing on him is, he always made me jealous when I become calm down after angry. He also listen me when I'm cry and sad. A good one.

Do you know... Actually I also don't know what the reason why I have to miss him, maybe I miss the routine to love him, to share with him. Now everything is different, I don't know what will happen. But I feel he still love me, till now he never delete me or block me from everywhere. When I said hi to him, he also always answer.

It was a few days ago but see... I miss him. I don't know why I miss him.

But I also trust with my feeling, he was still not serious with me. He was still unsure to be more serious with me. I don't know... But now feel better without fight with him, I don't care if he tried to find a new girl because I believe everything are manage and done by Allah.

But with him really different, I never cried as much as I cried with him, I never angry to boys as much as I angry with him, I was happy too, I was able feel his feeling ( now I am not sure still able to do it), I don't know I'm not sad when he leaved me maybe because actually he hasn't leave me. I don't know what is true, but in my mind if he is my destiny then he will not go to leaved me and choose other girl. If he is my destiny then he will back if he is not then he will go.

Take it easy... everything is done and manage by Allah. Allah know what is the best for us.