I forgive to left me in pain but don't come back to left other pain

It is almost 1 month later I wrote for this blog. It was quite long, actually I had many stories to share but I wasn't have passion to write. But today there is a story that I want to share.
It is not a happy story but something that I don't like. Someone is back to contact me. Someone who left pain for me. He decided to marry other girl without asking my permission while he still called me baby, ya... we were in relationship. About 1 months ago he married and he just told me that news about 2 months ago. Feel like I was been played after 8 months relationship.
Honestly I'm not really like him like I like my best friend but I can't lie that I had feeling for him. But who is he? Why he so dare to contact me for asking help to make his wife happy? It is not really same with that reason but almost similar. Ya.. I'm not the perfect one but I was there for him when he need me. He like to called me stupid, idiot and nonsense then he said sorry it was kidding and I realize now that he was right because how stupid and idiot I'm that want to spent my times for me. How stupid, idiot and nonsense I'm that I spent more time for him than for study. How stupid, idiot and nonsense I'm always forgive him when he did mistake. How stupid, idiot and nonsense I'm always give him best suggestion and best opinion when he was in trouble. I was always care him even he only thinking about his self. I even lack of rest just for him. So stupid because the stupid feeling too...
I know 8 months is short if I compare to years relationship. But it was pain and hurt when he told me that he will marry after 1 month later and I lied that I was happy to hear that. I don't know it is same for other people or not, I was not hurt too much when he left and when I was remember the memories but it is hurt more when he comeback to contact me while he only want to left other pain. I should trust my vision at first before my feeling was growing but I don't know it was hard to control my feeling. My vision was told me that he is same with my first xbf. Who did left me for other girl but begging for sorry after he married for some months and told that he can't forget me. Now... feel like already fall and believe that standing beside the hill is not save. Ya.. I must step forward and don't ever looking backward, I'm sure someone who left me now finally will left so it is better to left me now than left me when we were married. Like my friend who told me that he is not quite good for me because they don't know my value. Hahaha... I think he was only cheers me on that time.
I forgive them all but I don't let them comeback just to left other pain so I don't want answer anything if they contact me or looking for me again. Hope I get better man than them. Thanks you if you read this. Don't left your sun just for an ordinary moon. Don't hurt a girl because you don't know that they are praying better than you because who was in hurt is more blessing. Do you believe in God? I do believe in God. God never sleep, God know what the best for us.

Keep fighting this fucking life...hahaha...  

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Kissing style

It turned out that every man has their own style of kissing, for a woman who just had to kiss with her husband only may not know the sense of kissing style of other men. But if you have husband who likes to do and try new things you might get all sense of kissing style. The women divide the forces of man as a warm kiss, passionate kisses and gentle kiss. As to whether the forces that kiss. While reading this article think that where the style of kissing your partner, you are guaranteed to be eager to kiss her right away. (^ ^)

A warm kiss
When he kissed her, it's "in" and full of strength. His kiss was meaningful and can make your world was spinning. He likes to be teased and can be very passionate. He does not mind showing his attention elsewhere. He is also proud of his kissing techniques.

Men of this type has a great passion and warmth that can he channeled through a kiss. When the kiss, his hand would touch your hair to create a pleasing combination. Variety is the spice of life. Do not be surprised if he's happy to kiss you with a variety of styles and like to try and introduce a new style kiss on her partner.

A passionate kiss
His kissing techniques are unpredictable style. Just as he pleased. He not only likes to experiment, but also happy to surprise his partner with the style of kissing. He really enjoyed the spontaneity and you can smell it anywhere, including in public places, which of course will make you excited to receive it.

How great kissing style? The answer, depending on the passion that he felt at that time. This guy is a wild type and can not be restricted. When kissing, he was happy to put his hand on the go. It could even squeeze a bit hit or a specific part of your body. He could probably holds the record for longest kisser because she does love to kiss.

A gentle kiss
He loves to kiss you with soft, sweet, and heartfelt. Although it was less passionate, kiss can make you feel special. As if her kisses just for you. He can create a romantic atmosphere with a slow kiss, holding your face or hands.

For him, a kiss is not a good physical game, but rather a personal thing that should be shared. He is very sensitive to the needs of their partner, although he considers his time is very valuable. When the kiss, he would listen to his conscience and think about how valuable partner for him. This man is caring and always concerned with feelings of their partner.

As a girl we love all that kind of kiss, sometime we want passionate kiss, sometime we want warm kiss and sometime a gentle kiss. So which one is romantic kiss? All kind of kiss are romantic if you are doing with your partner and you know where is the good moment to do it. I want to leak it, a hot woman know what she want, she will tell to her partner which style she want. Hahaha, but every woman will melt with any kind of kissing style when she really love her partner, even when she was angry sometime kissing can directly swept the fire of anger become the fire of passionate. Yea...many time when she angry directly kiss can make her directly melt and after that hugs her. Mwah..mwah...hahahahahaha

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The meaning of lipstick colors in his eyes

The variety of lipstick colors like red, pink, fuchsia, cream, green, blue, purple, yellow, and until, it has its own meaning in the eyes of men are to women of various colors of lipstick is the increasing number of options that can be used to tint the lips to look more beautiful. In his eyes, lipstick colors actually reflect your personality and confidence of the wearer. By Matt Bean, Men's Health magazine editor, the men have their own perceptions about the choice of lipstick color worn a woman.
Is the perception of a man about a lipstick color?

1. Classic red
Classic color red is considered very accentuate their confidence high. Bright red lipstick color sends the message "Look at me", and a color that is assumed to be the desire to be noticed. According to Matt, if you want to steal the attention of a man, asleep just bright red lipstick neatly so that the color and shape of the lips look more sexy. (Never mind the men, for women were bright red color will invite attention. But it is true that not all women dared to wear bright red color and some did not like the bright red color on the lips stick. Example of an artist who is often seen wearing bright red lipstick, namely: Gwen Stephani)

2. Hot pink
Pink is often likened to the color of love, but in terms of color, pink lipstick is not anything related to love. Because according to Matt, the color pink symbolizes a more punk style and adventurous, both in terms of love and activity. (So ​​for the women carefully put on the color pink, because it is considered as an adventurer in love. Huhuhu. Though pink lipstick color for me as a woman shows tenderness and pink  lipstick color is color that suits with my lips. Pink lipstick color also easy be matching with all dress colors. [what pink I like is not much pink and not much red, like in the middle between both]).

3. Dark purple
Almost like a dark purple red in the wine. This color symbolizes the brave personality and not afraid of risk. "This is a color that shows a personality that likes to be a challenge in a positive," said Matt. But he added, women who love the dark color does not necessarily mean you have a dark side and a negative personality. In most women, the use of very dark colors attract the attention of men. (The color purple lipstick is not an option for me because purple lipstick have image of bruise for me besides that purple lipstick color is hard to matching and combined with the dress).

4. Cream
Color brown or beige color called neutral because it has the same color as the color of human skin. According to the men, women who use this color will look very cool and pale as a corpse. "Especially if combined with a creamy color gloss because you will look like shiny donuts," said Matt. (If I see a lot of beige/Beige lipstick color worn by middle-aged women (mothers) in a Korean drama. For me the color beige lipstick may seem cold and sad).

5. Orange
When looking at the color of orange lipstick, men will think that you have a personality that is unique and very brave to try something different. "Behind the lipstick, as if the firm saved personalities but on the other hand has a very pleasant and very confident," he explained. (Orange is a color that I like but not the color of my choice, because the orange color does not match with my color skin. For me the orange color are symbolizes joy and sweet).

That's what lipstick colors in his eyes. For women choosing lipstick color matching based on skin color and because of the reason like with these colors too, but for the men was a lipstick color has its own assessment. A good lipstick can also protect your lips especially those that contain moisturizers.

credit to : female.kompas.com

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Someone who love me part 2

This is part 2 of the story "Someone who love me part 1".

After 2 years later this professor comeback to visit my country. I still remember what my friend said and this prof also still looking for me. I don't think anything because I feel he is my friend and feel have to care me because he is suit as my father on his age. He contact me and asked me to meet him in his hotel. He said he need my help. Ya I don't thinking a lot, I'm happy because maybe I can study in his univ then I went to the hotel. And from his text I see that he really want to meet me and no patient to wait me till reach hotel.

He  (the professor)
Me (Me)

I went to the hotel with my friend because I thought is safety if I go with friend. He called me if I could go to meet him. I said yes because , I already go there mean on the road to there. After I reach the hotel then I text him.

Me : I'm already in hotel and I wait in lobby.

He : Ok I will go down now.

I met him in lobby and introduce my friend to her. We talk about 1.30 hours about study in his univ or other univ and plan what kind of place that we should visit tomorrow. We plan to visit an interesting place with name P and he agree with it. He asked me to come early when breakfast time tomorrow.

I came to hotel time of breakfast but I don't interest to eat because I was get trouble with my stomach. And I just follow him. He brought me to his room and said that our schedule are changing because he has to meet his friend in 10.00 AM. Don't worry, I'm a good girl. I didn't do something forbidden, I just talk and we were watching pictures party for about 2 hours. What he said?

He : This is my real feeling, I can meet you again like something that I'm really waiting for long time. I'm very happy I can meet you again.

Me : I'm only smile and said thanks you.

He : This my real wish that you can visit my country someday.

Me : I hope so.

He  : Ok, I had promises to my friend to meet him at 10, could you accompany me this afternoon to visit my other friend? If you are not busy, surely and we will have dinner.

Me : Ok, I think I'm free today because it is Saturday night. What time should I come?

He : Maybe around 5 PM. Could you?

Me : Sure. Ok See you later. 

He : See you..

I went to home and rest because my tummy was bad condition. Then it was rain so hard in 5 PM and I can't get any taxi till 5.30 PM. Then after walk for a while I found vacancy taxi and I took it. Surely I told that to him. Then we changed our schedule again because his friend asked him to come early. So after I arrived into hotel, we directly go to his friend home. Nothing special in his friend home, actually I don't like his friend too but I have to kick his friend feeling. Hahaha. (Why I don't like his friend? I knew her but there is long story between it and no need to talk about it). After we left his friend house as we planned, we will visit mall to dinner and buy something. Yap.. surely, I felt it was dating. hahaha. Feel he did same but I take care of my self this time, I don't want lose like before. I keep my self, I don't want he touch me.

I already starving and I decide to eat first after that buy what he want to buy. He asked if I want something just tell him. He said if he can serve me then what he should to do. Yah.. I could make him lost a lot but I never and don't want to do that because it will useless and bad. Diner finish and we went to shop. He spent 100 $ in 1 shop till the shop will close. Then we back to home but he asked me to stay for a while because he has something to say and want to show something. I never think bad, because I know he like me then will do something harmful for me. I just follow him to his room.

He : I show our seminar before visit your country.

Me : Ya. that cool.

He shown me some pictures and also video then after that he said to me something that maybe he actually want to say. Because he said it like so hard. huhuhu

He : I want to tell something. Actually.. ehm.... I like you. Ehm.. I want you visit my country.

Me : Ya.. I hope so but I need to finish my study first.

He : Ya.. I see. I think in your age is the best time to enjoy life and travel where ever you want to go. I think I will come to here often and maybe will visit other place on my next visit. If I ask you to accompany me, do you mind?

Me : Sure I don't mind, why not? If I can accompany you then I will go.

He : (With happy face, bright and look become nervous and hard to breaths). I want to say something. I will leave tomorrow morning. (Thinking a lot and hard to say). I want to say something, I mean... ehm.. I like you since first time I met you. ehm...ehm.. I mean.

Me : (I feel something harmful, not save and not convenience). Actually what do you want to say? (I'm higher my voice because he is become closer with me. I felt not save)

He : I want you stay tonight. Could you?

Me : Hahaha...sorry that impossible. 

He : So if I packing my stuff, do you still want to stay and accompany me?

Me : I think I can't because I promised to my friend to come back max at 11 PM. (Feel bad)

He : So you will back. Ok I will accompany you till the lobby.

He bring me to lobby and I felt like escape from unsecure cage. I felt I did something harmful for me.

He : Do you want to visit my country?

Me : Yes I want someday.

He : How if invite you to come?

Me : Hehehe. If I didn't finish my study, I don't want to go anywhere.

He : Ok. If you need something, if I can help you just tell me everything. Let me know everything about you

We are in the lobby and I call for taxi. I need to wait it and he still accompany me.

He : Sure you don't need anything? Ok. I still have some $, I think I don't need it again because I will go with group. You take it.

Me : Thanks you, I will pay for taxi. 

He saw bunch of girl kissing cheeks each other. He asked me whether that are my country culture and is it common in here? I answer yes but it is modern culture. He asked again if that only between girl or woman. I said surely, usually between girl or woman. Then taxi come, feel like I was free from unwanted place. Hahaha. Now I understand what is it. He really like me and I don't want to be more danger. So maybe I don't take something danger like this on next his visit.

Now I'm sure 100% that he love me. No doubt anymore! But how could take him as my boyfriend? Yea... he better be my other father than love partner. So I choose he only be my friend.

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Someone who love me, part 1

Someone who love me, yea this is a story which was start maybe about 4 years ago till now. I met someone he is an professor then I'm new student in university. He come to my country and met me in the city Y. He was visit here and I was care him. I never thought that how I treat him make him falling in love with me.

MyFriend (MF)
He
Me

In one night and I was thought it was not special and I was forgot it but I still remember it now. Me and A prof went to the book store on walk. And the road was silent because it was quite late. We were talking and the silent. Directly he said something that I never thought.

He : Xoxo, Aku cinta padamu.
Me : Really? thanks you. But Aku cinta padamu mean that you are love me. For I like you we use aku suka kamu.
He : Aku cinta kamu dan aku suka kamu. Really.

Me : Thanks you.

I'm speechless and just said thanks you. His visit to city Y was the second time mean it was the 2nd time he met me too. When he said that he love me, I didn't know that it was special feeling like bf and gf till my friend asked me if I have special relationship with him. 

The other night my friend visit the house that I was stay and this prof too.(Now I moved) My friend also already friend with this prof so they chat friendly too. When this prof chat, I was realize he like to look at me. And look bright. I have chatted with my friend when the prof already back to his country and my friend kidding to me. Where chat so fun  but immediately he shocked me with his chat that I never thinking before.

MF : I think he like you.

Me : Are you kidding? What alibi that could made you spit that argument?  

MF : Because I saw when he looked at you, he look very happy. It was looked that his eyes was shining.

Me : Are you sure? His age maybe about 2-3 times older than me. It is impossible.

MF : I told you what I saw when I met you with him that night. Xoxo, love never see age, it is about feeling. Just think maybe what I said is right.

Me : I don't think so and are sure about it?

MF : Ya.. Because I'm a man also and I can see what maybe you can see.

Me : Wait, maybe you are right. I will think it.

MF : Yea..think it and tell me if I'm right. 

He so sure then I take some of times to think about what he said. I found some connected clues that make my friend statement are true. But I still doubt about it. Then I asked to other friends, I asked 2 friends and guess what their answer are same. Then I call my friend again.

Me : Bro.. maybe you are right because my other friends also talk same, there are 2 friends said that he love me. 

MF : I said..  See... already 2 friend.

Me : But I still doubt.

MF : Give me some clue. Because I'm sure he like you.

Me : Wait I'll think it. Ok.. I was forgot about it. Now I remember that he ever told that he love me with Bahasa Indonesia.

MF : See... now I'm 100% sure that he really like you, mean he love you.

Me : But I still not believe it. Wait I remember again when we walk together he also hold my hand and very care me like maybe I can  be broke easily.

MF : Hahaha.... What I said, it is no doubt anymore. But maybe you are too pure too agree with it. It is 1000% no doubt. Do you have other clue?

Me : Yes.. but I'm shy because I didn't realize it. I feel so stupid.

MF : It is ok, just spit it out.

Me : Cuh..cuh...hahaha. Actually he also ever hugs me when we went out by motor cycle. The road was empty, he could hug me because I was drive the motorcycle. 

MF : Oh my... How could you don't understand that? 

Me : Ya.. so silly.

I think a lot about my friend said. He is right just I'm too much dumb to realize on that time. I become remember that prof breathing faster when closed to me that time too. I admit he also ever admired my skins, he touch my hand skin so soft. Actually I was feel something odd but that time I didn't know about it because that time I didn't have any bf. He also ever tried to calm me when I was angry while we are walking with many people and I was childish that time. I was angry because the cafe shop told me the ice cream that I ordered already sold out but after long time we wait the ice cream came. After we left the cafe, I walk in front and faster than others. He came and walk beside met then talk with me. He tried to cheer me. Look he was so care with me, only smart people realize it. (I think!)

But how could be?  Next chapter --> click Read more>>

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