Stupid, idiot, and non sense girl!

I still remember his words that he said yesterday, still remind in my heart and still so hurt. Like I guess he is back and asking forgiveness for what he said yesterday. But this heart still in pain and it is not easy to recover as easy as he hurt and then asking for forgiveness.
Still he blamed me that I still not understand him. I become hurt more, if he asked me to understand him then he should understand me too. He thing when call me stupid, idiot and nonsense for me is only a joke like he said. Then when he called me stupid, idiot, and nonsense girl as a joke so his love only joke too.
Then is his love only for feed his desire?
Really I felt so stupid when I heard he called me stupid, idiot, nonsense. I feel serving him is no meaning, it is my obligation but for me serving, caring and keep relation with him because I love him. But this love is not enough to care and keep this relation.
This relationship is not healthy anymore.
I'm bored, I'm bored to dream with you.
I am trying to make my heart as cold as the south term pole. I don't want this heart melt easily   like common ices  when I heard his sweet words.
Baby... you have to learn not hurting my heart always.
You have to learn that girl heart is not stronger like boys heart.
It is so weak till when it is getting too much hurt but always still can forgive.
You don't understand my burden, I tried to shared it with you but you heard it with 1 ear.
I feel disappointed already shared my burden with.
Yea...you are right that I only stupid, idiot and nonsense girl who love smart boy like you.
How can this heart still want to be hurt, but I don't know this heart always accept getting hurt again and again.
This blog is a space to share my burden sometime my joy, my love feeling, my hurt, etc.
I don't know why I like to write more when I'm sad.
Ok baby...  I don't know if I still can accept you again.