Dating tips for "Single Mom"

To be a single mom sometime dilemma, as a single mom you still need other half and your kids need a father profile too. But when a single mom opened up to build a new relationship, but have a child who is still dependent and demanding attention, some doubt or confusion to start dating. To stay comfortable dating while raising your child, make sure you have the following attitude:

1. Acceptance.
If you are going through a divorce, try to accept the reality of marriage that can not be maintained, whatever the story behind it. That way you can live a new life with the baby, the most precious gift from your previous marriage. Acceptance as this will make it easier for you to build a healthier relationship, both with kids and the new man in your life. Includes easy when you have to start dating, and involving children in new relationships.

2. Decent happy.
Do not limit yourself, that your life now is just for kids, then ignore your personal life. Also notice your personal life does not mean ignoring the baby. You can still pay attention to him, but also open up a new man. Do not also think there will be no men who are interested in with a single mom. Actually think the opposite, that man would be lucky to get you, with children as a bonus. You and your child are an inseparable package. Believe me, you deserve to be happy, appreciated, loved not only by children but also by your other men.

3. Do not rush.
Introduce him to your child gradually. Do not rush to introduce it to your child. Not easy for your child to receive another man close to you, but not his father. Also not necessarily easy for him to familiarize yourself with your child. Just enjoy the time together dating for several months, before finally going along with your child. With a gradual process, both him and your child, as well as yourself will be better prepared to live this new life.

4. Show the facts.
Indicate your life for what it is. That you are a single parent who is busy taking care of things alone. Including if the relationship and communication with ex-husband still poses a number of problems. That way he will see for themselves the facts of your life. With hope, he's able to understand how the hustle bustle of the world you are, and if indeed she loved sincerely, he will accept and adjust to your life. If he can understand your world, it will be easy for you to approach him with the little guy.

5. Let he was dating you and your child.
When you and he's ready, take your child on a date with. Spend time together. You may feel nervous about the situation. Especially if your child suddenly cranky, then corrupted your date. Discard all your worries and just enjoy the time together. Let him adjust to you and your child. When deciding a date, give the new man in your life for you and your child dating. Instead you can judge the sincerity of his love of dating with children.

6. Be honest.
Be honest about your expectations of the relationship. If you want a serious relationship, express. Thus, from the beginning, you and him together to build a relationship with a common purpose. You and he will also be easier to agree on how much energy and time that could be "invested" for the sake of the relationship.

7. Be yourself.
Building a new relationship with creating new hope. Do not ruin a new hope, hurt, because he does not love you or what it is. No need to be someone else, or want him to be the ideal man that you desire. Love him what it is, and vice versa, he should love you for what it is.

Courtesy Kompas.com

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Different age in relationship

I have a parent with age spacing different about 10 years, my father is older than my mom and I have an aunt married with a man that 12 years younger than her but when they old they look old together maybe no one realize that age differences between them to far. But sometime I see my aunt act like childish and her husband

look like more mature than her. And about my mom and my dad, I didn't know how their relationship in new married status but according my mom story my father was still like to hanging with his friend a lot than caring about his family. Ya.. maybe my father was not take much about father responsibility, it is something odd or maybe it is that said as a balance and don't see how mature a person by their age but by their attitude, solving problem, act and how they are thinking.

Ya... We can not manage with whom we fall in love and then decide to marry, as they say. So, without your prior plan now you have had a relationship with a man/woman much older or maybe much younger than you. Suddenly, everyone was paying attention to you as aware of the difference in appearance between the two of you. When you have walks with your love then some people maybe thinking that you take a walk not with your love one but with your mother/father or brother/sister. Well, no matter what the perception of others about your relationship. Even more importantly, how to live a relationship with a man/woman whose age is much different than your age. Because the age difference will give a big issue for you in life. You need to know how to bridge the gap. Here are some tips about age different in relationship:

Do you match?

Much age difference shows that have different stages of life. Interest and purpose of your life is different. Something that opposites do attract, but what if you and he/she are so opposite? When you decided to have a relationship with a man/woman who is much older, or much younger, make sure that you have a common ground. You both have something that is "disconnected", so you can find a connection with each other. If you manage to find it, the relationship is not impossible to run smoothly. If the intersection is not the case, you better leave.

Talk

When a new relationship is still running, it would probably begin to mention your children and family. Impression, you are in a hurry to marry him. However, if your relationship involves much age difference, talks about the need to be leveled. 

When he's/she's much older, he/she may be ready to get married and have children. Or conversely, when she/he had been married and have children, there is a possibility that he/she just does not want to rush to get married and have more children. So, you have to know how her/his readiness. For that, you need to talk and talk. Is there a future for the two of you? When you know about it from the beginning, you will not be surprised when one day he refused to marry you.

Experience

If you are young and inexperienced about sex, you might be a little worried that she's/he's able to meet the expectations of a much older man/woman. But you need not worry. Sex will always be different for each person. Not necessarily better or worse, but certainly no different. However, having sex with you it will be her/his first experience. So, both of you will still learn something new.

Indeed, sex will be very challenging because you both will mutually explore each other. You do not have to worry about whether or not he/she had ever had to do something. All you need to do is to experiment to find what she/he likes, and of course what you like.

Family

Well, this is more difficult. Families can be a big problem, because when the he/she was a widower You will be dealing well with his ex-wife/her ex-husband, ex-law, or maybe his/her brothers/sisters. When he's/she's a successful man/woman, you may be accused of materialistic by the immediate family. Therefore, when you meet with your family to be polite, and show that you are independent women/man who love their children.

What about your own family? How to explain to them that you are not one choose? Talk openly with them, and explain how it makes you happy. Families may not be immediate liking your choice, but when you and he/she can prove that you are serious about each other, slowly they will accept your relationship.

Go with it

Most important of all, just live what you believe. Do not be too concerned about what people say others. You will definitely hear other people talk about you, but believe that your happiness is the most important. Focus on small world you create with she/him, and let all the talk about your tilted away by itself.

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Maybe I need an almanac

Ancient people and some modern people also believing in almanac. Long time ago I read a book Memoar of Geisha, I remember about the geisha story that she never forget to read almanac before taking the activity. Ya... in Japanese and Chinese there are almanac that still using till now. And in Java. Indonesia there is almanac that called primbon. 

Primbon notes like dream meaning, creased meaning etc. 3 days ago I felt my right eye brow feeling creased so strong, it was happened almost for 2 days. According to primbon the meaning that I will meet my love. But since I awoke in the morning of 2 days ago I felt that something bad will happened. Ya... it was. Since I will left my home I felt that. Then I went to bank to register key for internet banking, nothing serious was happened just I felt a little bit nervous and felt that was odd too. 

After finish registering my key internet banking then I withdraw some money to send to my cousin. The teller said that I need to pay some money because it is different bank and in different sub. So I prefer to send to same bank so my cousin need to find a friend who has bank account same with me. Saved my money which I did withdraw again. Waiting for a while the bank account that my cousin will send, bored of waiting then back to home. My cousin sent the bank account after I almost reach my home. Ok... I planned to try my new internet banking key. I remember that I changed my pin in ATM when I save back my money with ATM machine, stupidly I input my ATM pin into my i-banking pin. I did 3 times because I was so sure that my pin was right. Damn... It is blocked automatically. I need to call service and it was spent all my mobile credit. After the admin reset my i-banking account then he asked me to register my i-banking in the closest ATM machine. Ok.... back to the bank.

Ok... I bought medicine too after everything was done then go home. My father told me that he will go to the hospital to see my niece who got accident and her leg broken. Well... I got flu in hospital, it was odd because I am feeling so well before went to the hospital. Then in the night before ready to sleep, I want to drank my medicine. I am searching in my bag, oh... God where is it? My mind trying to find where the hell the medicine. Oh.. No... I did pay the medicine but I didn't bring it home. Oh... no.... And what happened after that? My creased is stopped. So my creased was it signed? I checked Javanese calender the day was Wednesday Kliwon, is bad luck day realy exist? I don't know... sometime I thought that I need to have an almanac like geisha. Don't know should I believing in something like that? Almanac is notes of something that regularly happen. Believe or not sometime the prediction is correct but sometime it is not. But I will take note since now that if I feel creased again I will try to be cautious.

 

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