I don't know why the way of my life like this?
I easy to love but hard to give my heart.
After him, I asked to Allah there is no other man will come to my life and make me crazy in love then leave me alone.
Better I wait for the right one to give my truely love.
I'm afraid with this one will leave me also.
Now... I fall in love with a good one (he is the after him), each time he told me maybe we can't be together because maybe my family not agree.
Or you said that you want your parent find a girl for you.
That time you hurt my heart, but I keep it and smiling to you then say, Insha Allah you will find a good girl better than me soon.
You hurt me again after that by telling me that you don't want a girl better than me, you want a copy paste like me.
I know you still afraid to give promise for me but why you have to put if your parent will find a girl for you then its mean you will leave me after find her. Its mean, for you I just a spare time for flirting a girl.
Today you asked me to say salam to my parent, I said Insha Allah but they will not trust me, and I said in my heart actually I still not dare to introduce you to my family. Because you also still not sure.
Sometime you talk about other girl and I try to listen everything. I will try to find a solution if you did a mistake with them while my hurt in pain. I want to tell everything, all of my feeling, how much I feel hurt but my mouth always shut when I heard your voice.
How to image this feeling maybe it like a wound which you pour a juice of lemon on it.
And you will so angry when I talk other boys which I say that they are my friend. You said why I have to jealous who am I? Then I feel guilty because told about him with you.
Baby.. actually I don't like to swing my heart, but why I always submit infront of you.
This heart already in damage, its hard to cure it.
I want to take easy with you, but you will angry if you know that I'm taking easy relationship with you.
Its ok if I'm a spare time for him because I love him but please Allah dont let me to love him more. And don't make me down if he leaved me.
Save me from mourning like I never felt it if I got that, I dont want sobbing for something that I didn't get.
Sometime I'm happy with this love but like a mirror which show me a sadness reflection will come to my life in future but I still like to see this mirror.
What this?
Some time sure but sometime not sure.
Heart swinger..but when I tell to him don't swing my heart then he will say, I don't lie, I love you too much.
Oooh.... i'm not thirsty with his love words but like I stuck in his love and missing his love everyday.
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