After broke up why it is hard to live without relationship?

Now I feel it is hard to live alone after broke up, I really missing him and feel jealous when I saw other couple happy. Still my bf is the one that I was talking about. Because of him I realize that to live alone without relationship is hard and pain. Maybe this is the reason why mostly women can't stay longer to be single when she ever have bf.  I think to have new bf after xbf can cure the pain and easy to forget the memories with xbf. I see it is different in men, when they already love a women then he will hard to forget and find new gf after he broke up. It is odd too, when a woman married and her husband pass away or been divorced, a woman can stay alone till she dead but mostly a man can't be single for long time after he married then he been divorced or his wife pass away.

It is complicated but some men judge his xgf so easy to forget their memories but he hard to forget it and hard to find new one. I don't how to call this situation but I think it is depend on emotional of the person. For me, after I broke up then I can't live alone for long time, I usually give up to find new bf after broke up about 2 months (it is maximum times I can stay single after broke up). I feel I tried everything to pass the sadness and the loneliness. Sometimes there is a someone come to my life and the we like each other then we become bf-gf, sometimes no one come but I tried to search someone through internet. Yeah I did love cyber, I know it is crazy but sometime I get someone who want to listen me and can made me forget my x. It is enough to erase the pain, after I'm fine to be in single then I  just enjoy to be single. It is hard when my friends who have couple asked me to go with them, really like forever alone.

I never doing sex with all my x, but why it is so hard and pain when he left me. How about they who lost their virginity with their bf then their bf leave her like trash? How pain full of that? With my bf now, I did little bit far than with all x bf before, with my bf now feel more emotional and full of desire, both feeling same but both try to keep virginity. It is sound stupid but it is our commitment, we already in relationship for 7 months but we didn't show both property or even doing sex. We did something sound like sex too but without touching, we did to release our desire which sometime burn us. Yeah.. we did like chat sex or phone sex, but we never show our private property. We only kiss through phone we didn't kiss in real too, we both dreaming to do that but not dare to touch each other. Sometime we both also crazy, so hard to control our desire, we want to see each other property, I can to keep mine secret but it seem he want to show but when he will show I said to him, don't show to me till you marry me.

For us it is important to keep both virginity because we think if we won't marry then we didn't lose any but if we will marry then he can be mine and I'm his. It is really hard but we try. I feel this is better but everything is up to you in relationship. Because everything is your responsible, everything you did is your risk but I choose to decrease risk.

I don't know if my bf will be my husband or not, but with him really I feel to much test, emotion and desire. Hope can keep our commitment till the time answer what we should to do.  Miss him now, he is back to his country, only can see his text 1 or 2 times a day. Why hard to leave when I feel love him, I don't like if he will leave when I'm in love with him like other xbf who left me when I was so mad on them because it was so hurt and pain.